He says, “Most of the time the messenger from Seaside Citadel is the same man, but some messages are delivered by a man we don’t know. When that happens the Captain issues the challenge and waits for the response on the list. He crosses off each one as he uses it. That’s why the top five have lines through them. You’ll know the usual messenger when you see him because he has a long scar on his left cheek and his hair is cut very short. We usually have a messenger arrive every ten days or so. The last was five days ago.”I lean back while I think on this. It seems they now have a way to do an easy check on each outpost to see if all is well there. We’ll have to see to it the place looks right for the next visit. I look up, turn to Tora, and says, “Have all of our people find and wear Brotherhood uniforms. I’ll put on the Captain’s insignia. Have the horses and dogs moved to where they won’t be seen by anyone coming up the valley.” She nods yes and leaves. I turn back to Monk, “I want. Thinking of men as more than what their cocks could provide me was proving difficult, and my goal here was to totally, utterly and completely gay. Homos didn't have sex with girls, or have girlfriends, they had sex with men and had boyfriends. While I was still having thoughts about girls, the idea of having a boyfriend made me painfully erect. Sex could be just sex. But having a relationship with a man? It had been too difficult to think about at first, but a little bit of weed helped jump that hurdle. Thinking of all the times I had thought about having a girlfriend, what it'd be like and the complete opposite I was making of my reality. I knew I wouldn't have a boyfriend for quite a while if only because I wanted to sleep around quite a lot, being tied down wouldn't help with that. But being able to feel for a man, like I had for women? I started to force myself to go through gay men's dating profiles, with a different twist: I tried to imagine them as actual romantic partners. I.
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